Heading into the Weekend: Chariot
You worked hard this week. Now you intend to party in a manner befitting a mad emperor. Go forth and don’t look back!
This Weekend: Sun
You remember picking up “just one more” drink the night before as you slowly awaken in a pool of half-dried blood. Almost all of it is yours. Get some coffee from a drive-thru on your way home, then enjoy a long shower and a relaxing weekend. You don’t have many of those left.
Conclusion: 7 of Wands
Your weekend adventure brought the spawn of Hell itself into this world. This could be metaphorical, but perhaps not. By the time you decide what you want to do, you will have already been trapped by your new demon-child.
At some point in late September or early October, I really screwed up my left arm. Badly. I wound up in the emergency room then later at a second doctor. There were a lot of pills — and I’m not even the kind of guy who normally drinks.
The nightmares brought about by one medicine were absolutely exquisite. One of them will haunt me for the rest of my natural life.
I am excited to see what another person’s love of Lovecraft – especially the character of Randolph Carter – will look like on film. There is a quote in the “about” section of the movie which states:
From the first time Sascha read the short story, he was hooked.
I know the feeling. The ones that struck me were The Silver Key and Through the Gates of the Silver Key. Those stories take place later in the life of Randolph Carter. Sascha’s work should be intriguing to all Lovecraft fans, but has captured my attention for this reason.
Please go visit the site. There is a trailer available and some glowing reviews of the film.
My best wishes to the filmmakers. Thank you for keeping Randolph Carter in the hearts, minds and nightmares of horror fans.
Frozen Featuring: Emma Bell, Keven Zegers, Shawn Ashmore Written & Directed by: Adam Green
Three college students take the last ski lift to the top of a resort mountain. Human error leaves the trio stuck on the ski lift far above ground. A storm is rolling in. The staff will not be back for five more days.
Horror movies depict college students as presumably the dumbest class of human beings in existence. Seven year old characters are often extremely in tune with their surroundings and grizzled adults in horror films will at least take good care of domestic needs. The college student in the middle is almost shown as an irresponsible, well-educated idiot. If a horror movie about three such characters stuck to a ski lift sounds like a foolish idea to you then you are far from alone.
Frozen meets those low expectations. Then, just to keep us on our toes, Adam Green, his cast and his crew actually exceed them. Three personalities mingle and clash above the snow. Dan (Zegers, Wrong Turn) is a natural leader who reaps the rewards and responsibilities of leadership. His girlfriend Parker (Bell, The Walking Dead) brings emotional support to the people around her. Dan’s best friend Lynch (Ashmore, X-Men trilogy) assumes the role of odd man out both on and off the ski lift. Look at those credentials again. A person doesn’t get his role expanded throughout the entire blockbuster X-Men trilogy by being a bad actor. The players on screen performed superbly.
That leaves one important question: Is it scary? The filmmakers knew exactly when to pull punches. They also knew when to punch hard and when to even fight dirty. This is not a terrifying movie from beginning to end. Frozen is a film with several brief payoffs.
However, Frozen is still a movie about three college kids who get stuck on a ski lift. Many of the ridiculous antics feared by everyone are sadly present. It seems those annoyances needed to exist to make the story work, even if they make the movie much less enjoyable.
Final Score: 5/10.
I may have just lost face with fans of both hardcore horror for scoring this too high. People who enjoy story with a few scares could be angry that this is scored too low.
Other notes.
I flinched. I actually flinched and looked away from a horror movie on Netflix. That is not all that common at all. The brief payoffs were very well done.
Before continuing, read the Hellraiser: Revelations post at Alien Bee Entertainment and give them some credit.
You can also check out the trailer below:
Got it? I would normally not give this any time but there’s a matter of Pale Imitations to be discussed. First of all, this looks to be a pale imitation of Clive Barker’s work. From what I’ve read, a better script may have been thrown away in favor of this: Blair Witch 2 with Cenobytes. Then, in the story, Pinhead himself makes a pale imitation of Pinhead. That is, he appears to convert a living mortal to a Pinheaded but not-Pinhead Pinhead-like Cenobyte.
So, the pale imitation of Pinhead is making a pale imitation of the pale imitation of Pinhead. Only the pale imitations are rather not as pasty as the paler source material. These pale imitations are burdened with copious amount of guyliner. Thus, the pale imitations are considerably less pale than the pale originals that they are pale imitations of.
That is to say, there is a pale imitation (Pinhead 2) of a pale imitation (not-Doug-Bradly Pinhead) of a creature (Barker/Bradley’s Pinhead) that was unlike like the original in the Hellbound Heart – who was described to have the voice of a cheerleader. This Nth generation pale imitation fails to be as pale as the original.
Oh, to hell with it. You can expect my Netflix review in a few years (or maybe weeks) when it hits Netflix instant.
