976-EVIL – DVD Review

976-EVIL
Featuring: Stephen Geoffreys, Lezlie Deane, Robert Picardo
Directed by: Robert Englund

In the decade before the Internet, lonely people were mostly likely to find company through the use of pay-by-the-minute telephone calls. The phone numbers in question typically began with a 900 or 976 area code. Robert Englund made his feature film directorial debut in a movie which, for good and ill, was all about that time in America.

A number beginning with the 976 prefix promises to deliver Satanic “Horrorscopes” to anyone who calls. The Horrorscopes have an uncanny knack for delivering very pertinent advice without even asking for the querent’s astrological sign.

As a matter of 976-EVIL being a tale of Spike’s redemption, there is a good deal to appreciate. Lezlie Deane(Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare) far outperforms any typical scream queen in appearing as the genuine love interest Suzie. Robert Picardo(the Holodoc in Star Trek Voyager) puts in a great but brief performance as the owner of several 976 telephone services.

Unfortunately, the responsible parties chose to go beyond overboard in their portrayal of Hoax(Stephen Geoffreys). Hoax and his mother come across as cartoon caricatures of socially inept religious freaks in the midst of so much wonderful talent. Worse, there are five painfully bad jokes for single every genuinely funny moment. Thus, Hoax gives the film its strongest identity. One would also hope that a movie depending on new age or occult themes would show a little more knowledge of its source material.

Robert Englund completionists and people who wish the 1980s had never ended will want to see this. Most other people – particularly casual horror viewers, will probably want to give this a pass. It’s a painful thing to say as so much was done so well.

(I am presently attempting to review every horror DVD on my movie shelf in alphabetical order. Later on we will get more of Lezlie Deane and Robert Englund. Stay tuned. Next up: Candyman.)